Shifting the conflict dynamic
One of the most critical skills in conflict management is the art of compromise.
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Countless relationships break down at work because people are focused on their differences. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Have you ever found yourself in conflict, unable to find the right words to put out the fire in the moment?
Has this ever left you either speechless or misunderstood?
Well, you’re not alone.
Up to 85% of people experience some kind of conflict at work, so the odds are you’re one of many.
Therefore, negotiating win-win outcomes is a critical skill to manage conflict and build trusted and productive relationships.
Conflict management doesn’t have to be costly
The goal is to slow your stress response to remain cool, calm, and collected … even mid-conflict.
This is best achieved by seeking these four opportunities to de-escalate heightened emotions and destructive behaviours:
01 Take perspective:
Look through the eyes of the other party with authentic curiosity about their needs, interests, and motivations. It’s often the fastest way to remove biases in your own thinking.
Try to understand their real interests with a questioning attitude, and a desire to understand. By doing this, they will likely mirror your behaviours from the other side of the table.
02 Anticipate escalation points:
Having a short fuse can complicate any situation. It increases the risk of slipping into a downward spiral of negative counter accusations and assumptions.
Anticipate ahead of time whether statements that are intended to be constructive might come across as punitive or dismissive.
03 Address issues promptly:
Address the elephant in the room. When you suspect an issue or question may be sensitive for either party and don’t raise it early on, the urgency is intensified when it is finally raised.
Effective communication takes the time to identify and address the most sensitive issues early in the process.
04 Press pause:
When things escalate to a point where dialogue is no longe productive, the best course of action is to take an agreed break.
The break should give each party enough time to reflect and reconstruct what they have experienced, to decide on new behaviours, and to bring them back to the discussion.
The pay off
Resolving workplace conflicts allows your people to reach a new level of understanding and strengthen relationships.
Failing to do so places an unnecessary and extensive burden on your team, and the wellbeing, performance and growth of its people.
Recap: Shifting the conflict dynamic
- Poor conflict management means that countless relationships at work break down because people are too focused on their differences
- In order to de-escalate heightened emotions we can:
- Take perspective
- Anticipate escalation points
- Address issues promptly
- Press pause
- Resolving these differences will strengthen relationships within your teams.
Resources
To continue your exploration, check out this blog: Opportunities to de-escalate conflict; and how you can seize them
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